Stark Trek
by Ink Spotz
Summary: James Kirk and Tony Stark are both stressed out by the demands that their jobs place upon them. People closest to them have suggested that they each attend group therapy. Kirk and Stark both meet at the meeting, and decide to switch jobs for a week to try to cure them of their stress. (AU)


Chapter One

"I hate this…" muttered Tony as he brought the cup of coffee to his lips again, staring in distaste at the people assembled in a circle in front of him.

His eyes flicked to the whiteboard sign that sat a little ways ahead of the metal chair circle. Written sloppily in a blue Expo marker were the words: 'Leaders Anonymous'. He knew that this would be a waste of his time. He hated group therapy things like this. He was only here because Pepper (and Rogers) had both suggested he come. Just because he had been high-strung as of late and had blasted one (or more accurately, fifteen) of the paparazzi's cameras with his Iron Man hand, they both thought that it was time for him to go seek some help. They both thought that something was going on internally, and had suggested he come to an anonymous group to talk it out. It had been like pulling teeth, but he had eventually caved, and only because Pepper refused to let him into his workshop to tinker until he made an effort.

So, here he was, wearing a gray sweat jacket and matching sweatpants, drinking the bitter and cold coffee as he watched more and more people enter the room. They all had their heads down as if they were all marching to their death instead of coming to talk about their problems and seek help. The only person in the room who looked abnormal and insane was one man in the far corner who was curled up into a ball and crying.

"Why did I say yes? I own a company. I have millions. I could have just built another workshop instead of coming here and risk losing my sanity."

Not wanting to reside by the small refreshment table anymore, he walked towards the only window in the room and proceeded to gaze out the window at the world outside.

"Hello world," said Tony before he took another sip out of the foam coffee cup. He brought the cup away from his lips, watching the lively traffic outside in the bright sun and fresh air.

His cell phone rang then as he stayed there, and setting his foam cup on the window ledge, he made a move to pick his phone up and place it to his ear.

"Stark," he said bluntly in reply, not in the mood to talk when he was in a place he deemed worse than prison.

"I see that you made it. I'm glad. For a second there, I was sure that you were going to duck out."

"Rogers…" said Tony in a sigh, placing his free hand to his forehead to rub it. "What do you mean you've seen that I made it? Are you watching me?"

Tony moved his free hand to pull the cord to the blinds so that they went up, only to get a few shouts of disgust behind him. Tony ignored them as he scanned the outside world with more fascination than he had previously as Steve started to talk once more.

"Of course I'm watching you. You need help, and since you're obviously not going to confide in any of us, you _have_ to go. I'm going to insure that you stay there whether you like it or not."

"Pepper put you up to this, didn't she?" asked Tony; his eyes scanning the windows of the building across from him one by one.

"She was adamant about this too, but I'm here of my own freewill as a good gesture to you."

"This isn't a good gesture, Steve. Just so you're aware, I know you're like, a hundred years old, but sending someone here is just evil."

That caused a short laugh to leave Steve's mouth followed by, "And this is exactly why I'm here. Because you act like a child when you're doing something you don't want to."

"I do not," stated Tony, finally spotting a tiny dot known as Rogers on the top of a nearby parking garage.

"That's exactly just what a child would say," commented Steve.

"You just better watch out because I'm going to get back at you for this. I didn't even have time to swing by a decent coffee joint before coming here, and I swear the coffee here is the worse I've ever drank."

"I think you'll live. You've survived worse."

"Your faith in me is so heartwarming, but I'm still taking my revenge when I escape."

"You make it sound like it's prison."

"It _is_ prison!"

"Just…try to embrace the experience, okay? It could end up helping you more than you know."

"Yeah. Alright. Whatever. I'm gonna be as old as you when I leave this place, Captain Dinosaur."

"Goodbye Tony," said Steve with another laugh; the phone line soon going dead in Tony's hand.

Tony sighed and tucked his phone back into his sweatpant pocket. He let go of the window blind cord and allowed the blind to fall back into place to the satisfaction of the leader anonymous vampires behind him.

"Embrace this, Stark," he told himself as he grabbed up his foam cup to go refill it with coffee.

He needed something to distract him from this whole thing, even if he poisoned himself with the coffee first.

* * *

"Captain."

The static from the com beside Kirk's head continued as Captain James T. Kirk kept sleeping like a log. He was sprawled on his stomach across his bed; his mouth hanging open slightly as he snored.

"Captain, I would not advise you to ignore my com any longer."

Still no response from Kirk. At least verbally. He just uttered a small moan before grabbing up his pillow with one arm and lying on his side, sandwiching his head in it to block out the sound. He didn't feel like getting up today, and he certainly wasn't about to let Spock drag him from the comforts of his bed anytime soon.

The static ended then, and Kirk let out a small sigh of relief as he naively thought that his first officer had given up. That wasn't the case, and Kirk honestly should have known better. As he laid on his side with his back to the door, his head still sandwiched firmly between two pillows, he heard his door swish open.

"Spock…" muttered Kirk still half asleep. "How many times do I have to tell you not to use my override code when I'm - "

He got cut off from what he was saying as cold water immediately covered him, drenching him and his bed in its touch. His eyes flew open then, and he immediately sprang from the bed, still trying to come to terms with what happened.

"You threw water on me!" yelled Kirk; his hair causing rivers of water to run down his face as he looked at his sopping wet clothing.

"Quite a theatric way to state the obvious, but yes. You needed to get up," replied Spock as he looked at the soaking wet Captain in front of him.

Kirk brought his head up then to train his fiery eyes on Spock who looked almost as if he were trying to suppress a smile of amusement.

"Why would you do that? Now I'm all wet!"

"I did it to wake you. I know that dousing someone in water is one way to make a person alert quickly."

The door to Kirk's bedroom was open, and Bones picked that time to be wandering the hall. He passed Kirk's door at first with a small wave and a 'morning, Kirk', only back tracking when he saw Spock standing there with a pail. He was soon standing in the doorway, letting out a loud laugh at the sight of Kirk.

"You're soaking wet! Did Spock…"

"Yeah…" said Kirk in an annoyed voice, only causing Bones to laugh even harder. Bones wrapped an arm about his gut as he doubled over slightly to do so.

"Spock…you're wonderful! Include me next time, huh?"

Spock turned to acknowledge Bones with a curt nod of his head; Bones still looking as if he were about to collapse with laughter at any moment. Spock soon turned back around to face Kirk, who was still upset about having been covered in ice cold water to wake up.

"Why did you wake me?" asked Kirk. "I was sleeping peacefully. I needed the rest."

"Your meeting is today," replied Spock. "You promised you'd make this one."

"Meeting?" asked Kirk with an arched brow, turning to look for something to dry himself off with.

"The meeting that has been on your schedule for over two months. The meeting that you keep promising to attend and putting off."

Kirk found a spare blanket lying at the foot of his bed that had remained dry after Spock's ice bucket gift, picking it up and putting it to use as a towel. He ran it through his hair first to get the rivers to stop running down his face, sighing into it as he finally came to realize what Spock was talking about.

"Oh. _That_ thing…" He muttered.

After Kirk had had a breakdown during one of their missions and had had to be taken out of the captain's seat and put in the sick bay with Bones, Spock was determined to get Kirk some help. Though Kirk was adamant that it was just a 'one time freak thing', Spock wasn't having any of it. He knew that the Captain was suffering mentally from something, and had a good feeling that it was the stress of all the missions they had embarked on as of late. In order to help Kirk return back to a healthy state of mind, he had suggested that Kirk attend a group session of some sort, and even went so far as to scheduling him to do so on an earth from decades ago so that no one would recognize him. Kirk had found a way to avoid the meetings for the last two months, but today Spock decided that it was time to put his foot down. He didn't want to see Kirk lose it again and start raging about like a hormonal teen. No one did.

"You have to attend, Captain. I'm worried about your mental health."

"I'm fine, Spock," remarked Kirk as he brought the blanket towel away from his face to look at him again. "I've told you all along that I was."

"Forgive me when I say I don't believe you, but I don't," replied Spock.

Bones had meanwhile collected himself again, and stood upright as he looked towards the two of them.

"Jim, you need to go to this meeting even if you hate it and never want to attend it again. At least try it once."

"You're on his side now?" asked Kirk, looking over Spock's shoulder at Bones. "Fine. Fine, okay? Now that I'm up, and _soaking_ wet, I'll go."

"I suggest Sulu take over in your absence," said Spock with a soft nod of his head.

"Why not you?" asked Kirk as he put the blanket towel down and moved to walk towards his dressers to find something to wear.

"Because I'm coming with you to make sure that you actually attend the meeting and don't ditch it."

"Me? Ditch?" Kirk sighed as he pulled some clothes out of the drawer, shaking his head. "I feel like I'm being baby sat."

"It's 'cause you are," remarked Bones from the doorway with a smirk.

Kirk rolled his eyes, stripping out of his sopping wet shirt before balling it up and throwing it at Bones, hitting him smack in the chest and causing him to stumble backwards slightly.

"Give me a moment to get ready Spock, and I'll meet you at the pad."

Spock nodded then, satisfied, and turned then to exit Kirk's room. Bones was still holding Kirk's sopping wet shirt in his hands, and balled it up once more, throwing it back at Kirk.

"Diva…" He said with a chuckle before disappearing with Spock down the hall.

Kirk sighed as he took his clothes and moved to go change. He didn't want to do this. He'd rather get woken up with a bucket of ice cold water for months before doing this, but he would just have to fight his way through it as he did everything else. He entered the bathroom acting like he was changing to prepare for war instead of for a one and a half hour group session.


End file.
